Audacity and awkwardness: wedding edition

I don't understand people sometimes. 

So... I am lucky, blessed, fortunate, and a zillion other synonyms....for so many amazing, supportive fantastic friends and family. We've had so many people so excited for us, for our wedding, for our lives together.

So then.. why does it take one sour grape to kind of ruin my day?

Don't you hate that? It's like a zillion people could tell you they love your outfit/hair/shoes whatever... and then if ONE person says something mean, it just hits harder. Even if you don't really let it bother you, it haunts your brain a little bit.

Anyway, I've started to realize that weddings certainly bring out the emotions in people.

I got a call from someone on the day of our engagement party. I haven't seen her in 6+ years, so she's never even been on the blog. Anyway...I was in an amazing mood... I'd had my makeup done, just booked the makeup artist for the day of the wedding, and was on a total high! I was headed home practically whistling to myself to change into my awesome RTR dress when I got that phone call. I almost didn't answer it, but I did...

We started talking wedding stuff and I asked her to help with some stuff for the wedding. She replied with "um...maybe" and after a long pause where I was trying to process that she'd just said "maybe," she said " I don't want to ruin your engagement party tonight, but..." I sighed heavily with that statement...She finished with "...I'm really hurt that I'm not a bridesmaid."

I couldn't help it. I got mad. And defensive. I'm usually a people-pleaser and take the path of least resistance b/c really... who the hell cares about a little compromise... But, no. Not for my wedding. Sure compromises are going to take place for the wedding, but not on something like this. I was just angered.  I probably didn't react well.

I came out swinging a little bit. I was just so frustrated. I know it was obvious in my tone...I feel badly about that. I was like a bridal bulldog for a second... talking about how she'd never met Eric and how I hadn't seen her in over 6 years...or talked to her more than 15 times during those years. I wanted her to be included, but what I wanted wasn't good enough...

I ended the conversation abruptly. I didn't really know how else to end it. It makes me sad that this is likely going to impact my relationship with part of my family now. I love her. I want her to be included even though she wanted a bigger role than I'd intended. But I don't think I should have to compromise on who gets to be up there with me on the day I get married. But then I'm also sad to have hurt someone's feelings and glad she had the guts to tell me about it. It's just a difficult situation.

Wedding planning is amazing, fun, fabulous... but I also feel like I'm going to offend someone at every turn and not even mean to. And if I spend the entirety of this planning process worrying about offending everyone, I'm going to lose my mind. But I also don't want to be some crazy bridezilla that's like "my way or the highway..." So it's hard where to draw a line on compromising. And I hate feeling like I hurt someone's feelings just by planning our wedding day. There are things I'll forget, things I meant to say, do, people I meant to invite to things, etc... That doesn't mean I'm intentionally being mean or exclusive. It just means I have a zillion things going through my brain and sometimes things get left off my mental list. *sigh*

I want to write that person back...or call her... But I don't really know what to say. We obviously have a difference of opinion and I'm still hurt and offended, especially knowing I was headed out to celebrate that night when she called. But I'm sure she's hurt and offended, too and it probably took guts to decide to call me and talk about it, regardless whether I was headed to an engagement party. So we're kind of at a stalemate in some ways.

This was a rant. Just kind of wanted to vent it out. Thanks for listening, friends...Sorry I got all heavy on ya. Now go read the much more lighthearted and fun post below... :)

Engagement Party + Rent the Runway review

Hi friends! Happy rainy Sunday from Tulsa! This weekend, Eric and I were so honored to have an engagement party thrown for us by some of our closest friends. :)

I mentioned that I rented a dress from Rent the Runway in my last post and I'll go into more detail in a moment, but I just couldn't be more impressed with the quality, service, everything...

I also was excited to visit a makeup artist in town that was in the running for my wedding makeup! I'd never had airbrush makeup, but wanted to have a trial just to see how I liked it. Engagement party seemed like the perfect fit! Lemme just tell you... After she did my makeup, I looked in the mirror and immediately booked her for the day of the wedding. I felt so glam and pretty, but not overdone. And the airbrush makeup lasted until 2 a.m. (Yes, we stayed out til 2 a.m- That never happens! Love it!) If you're in the Tulsa area and want to have makeup done for an event, I highly recommend her- Destry Davis. 

One of our only photos from the night. :) The party was held at Beth's beautiful casa and they have the most amazing man-cave basement complete with full bar, ping pong, big TV... Needless to say, Eric and the guys spent a lot of time down there... Cute stuff. :)  

Beth, our gorgeous hostess, with her adorable baby bump! It's officially out there on the 'book of the face,' so I am thrilled to post this photo of her belly with TWINS! Seriously, could she be any more adorable?! 

 Love these ladies so much! We're less like friends and more like family. :)

The decor was so fabulous down to the smallest details! The theme was "winter sparkle!" :)

One of the gifts from the girls in the group photo above! I LOVE it! When I find THE dress, it will hang on this on our wedding day! Eeeeeee!

An absolutely fantastic celebration and Eric and I are so humbled to have been the guests of honor at such a thoughtful and fabulous event!

Okay, and now for a review of Rent the Runway! I'd heard of it (SATC movie when she rented the handbags.. Remember?) But I'd never used it or even been on it. My good friend used it last year for an amazing dress for a wedding she attended. Perked my interest then b/c she had such a great experience... Then, one of my best friends (and one of my bridesmaids!!), Ashley, talked about it again recently and had a great experience. I had driven ALL over this freaking town and scoured the interwebs and yes...I had stuff to wear...but I really wanted something special b/c I'm a girl and that's what we do. I could give a rip about designer names and all that. I just wanted a cute dress. That said, it's cool to say I wore Badgley Mischka to my engagement party! ha!

The site is just so awesome and user-friendly. I logged in, wrote what date I needed the dress (reserve a day or so before your event), entered my size, and boom! 15 pages of cocktail dresses appeared! You can search by price, color, etc, too! And this was on Tuesday for my SATURDAY event! So there were still 15 pages of things in my size available! No telling how many options I would have had if I'd reserved it a few weeks out or more. (I think they let you reserve up to 6 mos..not sure). The best part... They had over 300 photos of other girls wearing this dress that they'd uploaded themselves! PLUS those girls wrote their height, size, bust, and a review of the dress' overall fit. So I immediately knew how it would probably fit my body. Gets better... They let you order a second size...FOR FREE. So, since they said the dress runs big, I ordered my normal size and a smaller size just in case.

Since I was a first-time renter, they had some special going on for $25 off first time rental. Even if they weren't running the promotion, if you sign up through a friend's invitation, you get $20 off and so does she when you rent! (If you want me to email you and invite you so we can both get $20 off, you just let me know...happy to oblige! ha!). :)

When you're done, you just put the dress(es) in a pre-stamped envelope and pop them in the mail. No dry cleaning, nothing. Hello easy! I got the dress for a 4-day rental (options are 4 days and 8 days), so it arrived on Friday and I just have to get it in the mail by noon tomorrow. Easy peasy.

And finally (sorry this is turning into a novel), I wondered about the dress itself before it arrived. I mean.. it had sequins and stuff so was worried they wouldn't all be there or the dress would just look "worn." But it didn't! It arrived absolutely perfect- like a brand new dress! :)

My review: RTR= 5 stars. :) I'll definitely do it again.

Fabulous dress. Fabulous weekend. Fabulous groom to share it with. :) (< -- I'm cheesy. You probably know this by now).

Friday Confessional

These are my confessions... (I hope that jam just started playing in your head like it did mine. I also just said "jam." Weird).

1. I obsessively drove all over town trying on anything remotely in my size tried to find a dress for Eric and my engagement party this weekend. I couldn't find one so I ended up renting the runway! So excited! Badgley Mischka? Yes, please. Hope it arrives in time! I'll try to be a better blogger and blog pics from the party. :)

2. I am SO bad at letting people do things for me. I am beyond grateful and appreciative, but it's strange for me to be on the receiving end of wedding parties and stuff because it's kind of unfamiliar territory. Well... I suppose it is for anyone getting married. It's not like people throw you a "hey you're awesome" shower for no reason. (Just tilted my head and realized that would be a cool shower though) It's so sweet and I have wonderful friends to want to celebrate with us. (<--even typing that gets me emotional). I told Eric I was nervous. He was like "For a party in our honor? You're weird." Thanks, Eric. :)

3. I smell like fritos. I've been applying self tanner lately and I think I kind of smell like it...which is a weird frito smell if you ask me. Sorry to all my coworkers.

4. I only wore heels once this week. Flats for the win!

5. Our shower is done (from the renovation I blogged about) but we have one more thing to fix so we can't shower yet. It's been bathtime fun for Jackie for the past week and a half. It feels kinda fun to take baths...It's not like I'm a dirty beast. But, um... taking baths in the morning takes a lot of freaking time! This is my way of saying I sometimes come to work dirty. So now I just admitted I smell like fritos and don't shower regularly lately. Wow.

6. Sometimes Winston (the new pup) pees on Gracie. It's pretty funny really. She's doing her business and then he walks over and lifts his leg b/c he wants to do his stuff where she's doing hers I think. Dunno what's up with that, but please have a good laugh picturing Eric and me trying to stop it from happening.

7. I'm making Eric take me to a nice steak dinner tonight b/c I really want steak. I said we can say we're celebrating a year of living together! (In reality I just want steak and a date night.. but celebrations work, too!)


That's all I've got. Happy Friday!

Lately

Knock knock...anyone there? Not me...at least recently. 

Can't say there's been anything bananas going on really... Sometimes I go through blogging breaks unintentionally b/c I just don't feel like I have anything to talk about...Silly really...especially b/c I really never say anything earth-shattering anyway...haha.. Whatevs. 

Anyhoo, lately...

* Eric went skiing for a bachelor party. Everyone survived. :) (He's in the blue/grey coat...front row kneeling down on left). 

 * I've become TOTALLY and completely addicted to this show!

Eric and I just finished season 1 and realized season 2 isn't on iTunes yet. WTH?! We don't have Showtime so this is a problem. Dear Showtime- please release season 2 soon before I go insane!

* Saw these movies...

Reviews: Zero Dark Thirty= slow at first, but then picks up. Probably more about the plot/backstory than some people care for, but I enjoyed it. I also really liked Jessica Chastain in it. 

This is 40= funny, but lots of foul language. I heard it made some older friends uncomfortable. I love Paul Rudd, so I was totally amused even if there were a few gratuitous f bombs. :) 

* Wedding dress shopping! Went dress shopping this weekend for the first time! I found one I loved then went to another store and found another I loved. Then I got home, slept on it, and now think I love neither of those dresses enough for my "big day." (I'm really amused by the phrase "big day" for some reason.) I definitely have a better idea of what style I want though...which was really the point in this first go round anyway. And I quickly realized I could try on wedding dresses all day long every day! :) 

* Totally dropped my iPhone in the dog's water bowl. Seriously. I quickly googled and saw that putting it in a sealed baggie with rice will dry it out. It actually worked! It took around 24 hours (which is why I have no fun photos for you from this weekend), but it's saved! YAY!

Toss in a few happy hours and some Mexican food and that's what I've been up to lately. :) 

It's OK Thursday...

It's OK... ...that Eric and I went to Bieber last night and had a blast! Eric even danced. (See below). As he said... "When in Rome.." haha..

   

...that the "Bieber fever" is more like a Bieber hangover for me today. Too much wine. Too many screaming tweens.

...that our bathroom looks like this right now...or somewhat close to this (see below). Long story short, the first contractor Eric used years ago didn't install a good moisture barrier in the wall, so water leaked through it annnnd the wall behind the tile started disintegrating. Cool stuff. It's getting fixed this week, but we only have one bathroom, so I'm getting major use out of my gym's showers this week. I'm thankful to be a member of the gym in my office building. :)

... I've been intentionally avoiding a couple of wedding vendors who are now STALKING me after the wedding show last weekend. I think they all must trade information after the show.

... I just realized I let my car tag expire...like WAY expire by MONTHS. *head hung in shame* They tack on fines for every day it's late, soooooo...oops. :(

... I have over 8 lip glosses in my handbag right now. I counted.

... I don't understand the multiple wedding dress thing. If you did it, that's awesome and I don't mean offense b/c lots of friends do it and I think it's great! But the way I see it is if I find a dress I LOVE, I want to wear that dress allfreakingnightlong! I mean...right? Maybe I'll change my tune since I haven't even tried on a dress yet, but just saying. *shrugs*

Happy almost weekend! 

Weekend Recap!

Wanna know what's awesome? When people ask me when I'm getting married and I'm able to say "this October.." b/c now it's THIS YEAR! But seriously I have no idea how the heck we're a week into 2013 already...crazy!

Friday

Went to dinner donning my crimson to support the Sooners and celebrate Sara's birthday with friends. Since I went to TU, I kind of think we're the Switzerland of Oklahoma football and really just support the home team regardless whether it's OSU or OU...unless they'playing us...duh. 

Saturday

My mom has wanted to be "included" (I put it in quotes b/c she keeps saying that word) in the wedding planning process, but there hasn't been a whole lot to be included in so far really. Anyhoo, the wedding show was this weekend and I decided it was the perfect way to include her in some festivities. The parking lot was like a drivers ed simulator of random people walking all over like wedding planning zombies on speed, cars coming out of everywhere, etc. I kind of remember it as everyone having a crazed look in their eyes and wearing veils, but I don't think that's what was going on in reality. :) Whatever. Anyway, we opted to avoid the insanity after I cursed loudly at someone who almost hit me and totally freaked out my mother and parked at the nearby Target and hiked toward the hotel where the show was taking place. 

That show was... whoa. Have you been to one of those suckers? I mean.. in a way, it's great for people like me who have certain things they love researching  on their own, but aren't as good at planning certain other things. It also kind of forces you to check out options where you're completely lost and have no idea what to do (ie flowers). But good grief there was so much going on! And so.many.people. I'm also seriously regretting signing up for information from a few booths b/c I think my email is going to be forever spammed. *le sigh* Oh well. Anyhoo, I have to admit I've always wanted to go to the wedding show, so it was fun. :) It was good times with my mom, too. We had a few laughs at some of the random things at booths...and we tasted a lot of cake. A lot. It also got me jumpstarted with planning again. 

Speaking of, I got home from the wedding show and booked two appointments to go try on dresses in a couple of weeks! Eee! I haven't gone yet, so I'm really excited! All my friends keep telling me to have an open mind, even if there's a dress style I think I'll love the most.

...night

Saturday night, Eric and I headed to Abuelos, where they serve very large drinks (see below) and then to see Jack Reacher (Tom Cruise's new flick). Gotta admit.. Tom might be a little cray cray, but you forget all about it in his movies. I'm also semi convinced he's an alien b/c he seriously doesn't look any older.

Sunday

All the Christmas decor came down. I loved being festive and looking at our pretty tree, but it's also really nice to have the space back again. Eric and I may or may not have eaten Mexican food again tonight. Whatever. I'm pretty sure our babies someday will prefer salsa to milk.

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Holiday photo purge...

I didn't really recap the holidays, so I thought I'd quickly just purge a bunch of photos from the past couple of weeks. :) I had a great Christmas and New Year, although I felt like it snuck up this year more than it has in previous years. Maybe I say that every year.. hmm...don't go back and check...haha..


Lights at Rhema in Tulsa



Lauren visited from London! I'd been lusting after that faux fur at Banana and finally just splurged. :) I wear it...a lot. Like I had to select the photos so it wasn't in more than just a few in this post...

 Attempts to get the dogs to pose in front of the tree on Christmas Eve...

We gave up and just set the self timer. :)

The dogs liked their presents. :) Eric wants his own chew toy. Obviously.

G helped Eric open presents on Christmas morning...



My mom came over for Christmas breakfast + present opening on Christmas morning :) She wore a Santa hat. It was cute.


We were planning to make the drive to OKC later that day to see Eric's family, but threats of snow and ice made us reschedule OKC for later in the week.

(I love this photo)

So yeah.. those threats of snow and ice that kept us from going to OKC on Christmas? We got nothing. No ice. No snow. Yet this is what we drove in on Friday to get to OKC.. haha.. Sheesh. Oklahoma weather.

At Eric's parents' house. :) The guys all got remote control helicopters as one of their gifts. I'll just let you imagine how much our dogs love the helicopter..haha.. Admittedly, the little copters are pretty cool...even if I always crash it.

Me, Eric, his brother and sister (front) after indoor go-kart racing! I'd never done it! So fun! (And I didn't crash!)

OKC puts up a big snow-tubing ramp- complete with man-made snow- at their ballpark! How cool is that?! $10 gets you all the tubing you want for a couple hours.

 

Since it was like 30 degrees, my rear went a little numb after a few times and we all decided we'd had our fill, but I really want to go again next year! What a cool thing! I wish Tulsa would do it.



Girls night with Jenny and Ashley! Eric drove me...which is a good thing. I'll leave it at that. Oh and if you've had Mi Cocina's mambo taxis, you understand the fun that ensued. :) I think they cap you at three of those suckers.



Cheered on TU in the Liberty Bowl on NYE day

The only photo we took at dinner (thanks Jill! :) ) on NYE with friends. :)



Stopped by a fun little NYE shindig to ring in 2013! I gave it the thumbs up! Or maybe I was giving my cocktail the thumbs up. Or my hat. Not sure. Anyway, good times. :)



And if you're still with me in this randomly long post, I also found a dress I think will work for our rehearsal dinner (yes, I realize that's a ways away). :) And it was on MAJOR SALE in the BCBG area of Dillards! This photo doesn't do it justice really b/c it looks like a summer cotton. It's not. It's a nicer fabric and lays really well. Anyhoo, I was pumped b/c I'd seen this dress on Pinterest and really liked it, but didn't like the price tag.

I'm glad this is a short week b/c I'm having issues getting back in the swing of things. Yesterday, I left my work laptop (that has to be docked at my desk) at home. I got here, sat down, made some hot tea, and then went "Aw crap..." and had to head back home.. Sheez. 

Resolutions

When I started this blog, I liked to do a long (rambling) post about whether I met my previous year's resolutions and my new ones for the year. I've kind of gotten away from that. After all, the big picture things stay the same year to year... I really just resolve to be the best version of myself. To me, that means many things that could tie up your blog feeds with deep thoughts and rambles...haha.. Instead, how about I post some of the fun, lighter stuff I think I'll also focus on for 2013...

I resolve to...

* Take better care of my skin. I take decent care of it already, but I could definitely be better. I find myself researching the best eye creams and all that jazz regularly. (When did I get old enough to care about eye cream? Sheez). Anyhoo, Eric's parents got me a Clarisonic for Christmas and I'm already in love! Just one more thing to help my healthy skin routine.

* Run a half marathon. I posted about this awhile ago, but Eric and I are both determined to accomplish this in 2013! Considering I've done one 5K ever...and I may have walked a bit during it... this is not an easy feat for yours truly. It we both want to do it, there's no year like the year we're getting married, right?!

* Eat more vegetables. I don't eat horribly at all. But I definitely don't think about veggies as much as I should. Plan: Include at least one veggie as a side with every meal I make at home. Easy enough, right? (*nervous face*)

* Tackle unpleasant things head on. I have a tendency to put off unpleasant things or tasks, but don't we all?

* Read more. Law school somewhat zapped my love of reading for pleasure but gradually, it's coming back. Last year was a good reading year and I wanna keep it up! :)

* Soak up every little bit of being engaged and wedding planning. I'm a total cheeseball, but I just love it because it means I'm getting closer to marrying Eric. Even writing that makes me smile. See? Total. Cheeseball. *rolling eyes at myself*

* Actually write something in the "about me" section of this blog...haha.. *head hung in shame* Blerg. I kind of forgot about it.

Whatever you resolve, cheers to the new year and to it being a great one, friends!

2012/2013!

As cheesy as this sounds, I couldn't have asked for more from 2012. This time last year, I was happy.. don't get me wrong.. I was very happy.. But, I was also fresh from turning 30 and wondering where my life was going to take me next. Eric and I had JUST decided to move in together and I was nervous...I mean, I wasn't but I was. Everything was going great, but what if we moved in together and wanted to claw each other's eyes out, ya know? Thankfully, that's not the case. I'm a planner; it's just what I do. And I went into 2012 somewhat plan-less.  I mean, there's always a plan, but I was just willing to see where the year took me, I guess... 

I am so thankful for the past year...Words are probably inadequate for my feelings (which is a rarity for me..haha). From moving in together to traveling to Barbados to celebrating Eric's 30th to getting engaged (!!), it was a fantastic year for Eric and me! Here are some photos (b/c you knew I couldn't leave out photos). ;)

Eric got two new roomies- me...and Gracie dog! 

Engaged!!!

2012 had a lot of other fun, too... from benchmark birthday celebrations with friends to new babies, weddings, my trip to Europe, and adding a new furry family member!

(That time the skinny arm pose ends up just looking awkward. Whatever).

2012 was truly a great year. I can only hope 2013 will be as full of fabulousness for all of us. :)