For the bar exam

A lot of my friends are getting ready to embark upon the bar exam. Aaron is getting ready to take it-for a THIRD TIME-this time in Illinois. One state just isnt enough for him. It was plenty enough for me. Anyway..

I am reminded of the freak show that was my life back then. I just went ahead and linked all of July.. b/c let's face it... I was insane. I remember re-enacting a lawnmower gone amuck in order to demonstrate products liability. I laughed at MBE questions about "little johnny getting attacked in the park." It wasnt funny, people. But, I'd gone that nuts. This was sometime around when I would hold my essay book and read the essays as I walked around the perimeter of the building..outside..so I could "get some air." I remember going home and literally passing out in my conviser mini review. Everything was bar exam.

Part of me wanted to go straight to the bar examiners house...whoever that is...and tell him how antiquated his little stupid mind-f*ck exam was. I wanted to spit all the knowledge I had right in his fat little face (I imagined him as a short, fat man..). But, then I realized that would take away from study time and not get me anywhere, so I gave up.

Elements of crimes danced in my head, my stomach turned over and over and over, my eyes were fixed in a "HOLY SHIT" stare... and I'm pretty sure I saved the one clean outfit I had for the exam day.

Anyway, whoever wrote this is a genius.. I found it online. If you have a sick sense of humor like me..(or took a bar exam), you'll think it's HILARIOUS. Here's the whole link. It's a stab at some of the "hypothetical situations" that are bar exam questions.

Here's my favorite part: (bgnd: they try to give all the defendants "D" names on the bar exam..it's annoying and confusing)

3: "Known" arsonists: Here's a little tip to all the cretins that keep hiring "known"arsonists to burn down their cheating girlfriend's house. Why is it, do you think, that he is a known arsonist, you dipshit? He's known because he has been f*cking caught before. You don't know who the good arsonists are, do you! Because they have their shit together. But no, you had to go hire Dusseldorf, or Durango, or whatever D word your f*ckwit moron arsonist is named, and now he's gone and burned thewrong house, and left me with a BAR question.

4: People who back out of conspiracies:Why don't you just stick with it and save us all some trouble, you pussy.

IF you're bored with life, here's MY bar exam..Yeah, the actual one.. Not the multiple choice, but the 16 essay questions.

Do it once; do it right; NEVER do it again... :)