Convo with the dog.

She looks less than entertained. Likely b/c I'd just given her a bath (hence the wet ears). 

G: "Why'd you give me a bath? Don't you see how pathetic I try to look in there? Ugh."

Me: "Your face smelled like you ate the neighbor dog's poo. And your rear was covered in the dirt/mud you sat in on our walk."

G: " I smell like wet dog now... so you still lose."

Me: "Do I? You're clean now, aren't you?"

G: "Whatever."

G: "Staring contest. If I win, no blowdryer again. EVER."