Birthday Week!

Funny convo with Eric's brother:

Him: "Are you going to change your blog name when you turn 30 {this week}?"
Me: "Eventually... I can't come up with anything really...."
Him: "Did anything happen in the 30s...?"(to go along with the roaring twenties theme I've got right now)
Eric, me and his brother simultaneously: "The great depression."

*laughter ensued*

So.. I'm about to get a tinge self reflective on you. Sorry in advance.

But, it's kinda impossible not to. I mean.. 30 is a benchmark birthday, right?! And well, unless you have no ambition, you're going to kinda reflect a little.

• I don't own a home. 

• I'm not married. 

• I don't have kids. 

I find it awkwardly frustrating how many times random people have somehow pointed all of the above bullets out in conversation in the past year and a half or so, mostly in conjunction with my approaching bday. As if I didn't realize those things.. haha... *sigh* People are so weird.

But...

• I have a law degree and license
• I have a great job
• I have a great family
• I have the best friends a girl could ask for
• I have a fantastic boyfriend. :)
• (and I could go on and on)

So, sure... things like the "don't haves" can feel strange. Even though I'm perfectly happy with where I am...and I have the farthest thing from baby fever. *yikes!* But,...if you're on facebook, you're likely cyber stalking photos of college/high school friends' new houses, their kids, their grown up lives by just logging in to your feed. And in those few seconds, sometimes I think "Wait, we're the same age! Am I a grown up?" And then it hits.... "Holy sh*t, I am." And then your mind flashes to the 16 year old version of yourself when you pictured yourself having kids by the "old age" of 30 and living in the house from the movie Father of the Bride. Or wait.. maybe that last part was just me.

Anyway.... it's easy to be self critical at these benchmark birthdays I think, even if you shouldn't be.

And I think to just 5 years ago when I thought I knew SO much... Buuuuuut I also remember feeling so lost. I was dating someone that was NOT right for me, studying for the bar exam for a job I really didn't like, and found myself questioning who my real friends were. I wasn't great at speaking my mind when I needed to and was just starting to learn what work/life balance really meant...

In just five years, all of those things have resolved themselves. Or rather... I resolved them, and learned a lot about myself along the way. :) And I'm not saying people in their 30s can't feel confused and lost and yada yada... but I think I get it when people say they'd never go back to their early 20s again b/c that stuff was stressful! LOL! Hell, forget stressful... I'm fairly sure I don't have the energy to keep up with my early-twenties self! 

I've learned what it's like to know yourself...and there's no easy way to explain that. I know what I want, what I need, and the difference between those two. I've learned when to keep my mouth shut (this took nearly 28.5 of my 30 years of life..haha..), and when to speak my mind.

A lot of soul searching took place in my 20s and I could go through all the things I've learned, am thankful for, etc, but there are too many to list. All in all, I'm grateful to be who I am...b/c I really like who I see when I look in the mirror. My mirror might be in my rental house I share with a roommate and our furry kids, but I'm okay with that. :) For the most part, I've made good choices so far. (About 100 flashes from some slightly inebriated college/law school days raced through my thoughts...haha). And I've surrounded myself with good people I'm very thankful to have in my life.

So with that, let my birthday week begin! Well.. okay okay..my birthday is actually next Sunday, soooo my week should technically be next week. But, that's dumb b/c who celebrates their birthday week on the week AFTER their birthday. No. I'm proclaiming this as my birthday week! Cupcakes for everyone! ;)